Friends of the Cynic

I used to be nice

But nice gets squished

Overlooked

And outdone

Nice knows manipulation

Condescension 

And the ever lovely smirk

And nice takes it 

Silently

But nice 

Doesn't last 

when it starts to resent

After it has become self-aware

Nice turns to guarded

Then to cool

Then to harsh

With walls that make strangers stare

Harsh finds relief 

In not being weak

In getting the worth 

It deserves

But harsh soon learns 

That reaction to hurt

Left un-shown can go

Too far

Once it is at last released

Yeah harsh isn't quite so 

Satisfying 

When it starts to shove people away

And turns pain into bitterness

I should know

I am harsh

I am guarded

I am the family cynic

I'm finally realizing how far I've come

From that shy

Quiet 

Too-stepped-on kid

And I don't like it

What I've turned into

Yup "jaded"'s a good word for me

Yet, despite my lack of friendliness

Despite my dearth of warmth 

I've met people who've endured 

My winter

I don't know why or how

But they've nudged past my walls

And they've melted my ice

And somehow become my friends

And when I think about 

How little 

I deserve it

Their love

I am

Overcome

I am indebted 

And grateful 

To God 

For you.

So thanks.