Saturday, September 20, 2014

Please, Do Not Feed the Feelings

Once
I was vacationing
At least I think I was
It could have been a day-trip
To a day dream

I can't remember

But I visited a tiny park
With pretty pale wood benches
Mown grass and narrow walks
Trim hedges, friendly green

And a little pond with a bridge.

I wandered to the pond's lapped rim
Toes stopped at rushes' edge
And swooped my gaze across ripples
And then, to toes again.

Then I saw it, from corner of my eye

A chipped paint peeling sign. 
It contrasted so blatantly 
With the pretty, proper park
And I wondered
Why I had not noticed it 

After all, its looks stood out

So I glanced at the families
Wandering about
Nice families 
With small children
And elderly couples, murmuring sweet nothings

But none of them were reading the sign.

I withdrew slowly from pond's edge
And stepped soft through lush carpet
Of mown yet marshy grass
Until I stopped, until I stood
Full view upon that sign. 

"Public Service Announcement:" it read

Letters blue against the white
Peeled painted sign
But there was more, yes more indeed
underneath, in smaller font
But quite legible design

"Please, do not feed the feelings." 

I looked around at the families
With small children 
And the elderly couples, too
Still oblivious, they were
Perhaps they had seen the sign

Many times before, and were bored of it

I considered asking 
One or two 
Of the young parents 
What it meant
The peculiar, odd-ish sign

But if I did, I don't remember.

I don't even remember leaving the park
Or when or how or why
I came to be back home
Sitting at my window seat
Sipping tea

And thinking about that sign. 



Friday, September 19, 2014

We Are Not Our Size


Believe it or not, I envy
your body.

I know 
you hate it

I know society has long told you
you should

But society's changing,
and they say now

That what you have is best.
embrace it

That made me so happy 
at first

I had always thought 
you were pretty

And then society decided so too
and I was so excited

For you and women everywhere
but then

As it became good 
to have your body

It became scornful
to have mine

Now I'm the bad trend
wait what?

All of a sudden
I'm starving

Laughable 
sick

I was born this way
I liked myself

But now
small is very very

Bad
How did that happen?

I hated fat shaming
I've never been fat

I couldn't get big if I tried
(which I have)

But I hated the hoops they put
you through

Just the same.
So why have the tables turned

Why am I considered unhealthy
for having a high metabolism

Why do you get angry 
at the size of my skinny jeans?

I have always wanted
curves

I have always noticed
that men find you more desirable

Even though the magazines didn't
but now you flaunt it

So it hurt to be objectified and laughed at?
no kidding.

I'm happy for you
that the tables have turned

But I don't understand
why we can't both

Be okay
and why we still have to have a "side" 

To hate.
what if we just accepted 

That we are all
(even the in-between sizes)

Desirable. 
Beautiful. Acceptable.

Loved. 
No? Well fine

But I am sure going to try.
So I'm gonna keep loving your body

'Cause dang, girl, you are fine
but you know what else?

No matter what happens in public opinion
I'm gonna keep loving mine. 


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

::Ode to a Well-Trimmed Hipster Beard::

(Note: this is meant as a farce, okay XD )

I was skeptical of you
at first, but you have finally won me

You are the face of the indie music band
no pun intended

You are endless boards on Pinterest
entwined with rare forest flowers

You are Duck Dynasty's
squandered potential reclaimed

You are put-together
best paired with v-neck and saddle backs

You are mature yet young
unlike cheap scruff or skraggled whiskers

Most of all, you are
more than your components
you are an image, an idea, a concept,
so much more than solely keratin

May you forever grace
the faces of a chosen few
may you never fall to commonplace
but endure as a symbol
of a subculture lovingly, pristinely
maintained.

-Fin.

I might just be human

Sometimes I feel guilty
when I'm not alarmed 
at what the republicans did
or the democrats 
or basically any politicians doing any sorts of things no matter where or why

Sometimes I feel freakish
and rather ungirly or nice
when I try to paint my nails
and find that it's painful and gross and I just don't like it no matter how hard I try

Sometimes I feel dumb
when a person asks me 
to solve a simple equation
or to think logically
I do not understand concrete or scientific things they just make my brain cry

Sometimes I feel rude
when I do not feel the need to 
chit chat without topic
or gossip about other people
I find that boring, at best, or at worst simply hateful I like deep talk and I cannot lie

Sometimes I feel alien
especially in football season,
4-H works wonders, though, too
I'm a city girl in a tiny town
I tried understanding but I can't understand; can't wait till the day I fly

Sometimes I feel a lot of things
sometimes they're quite unpleasant 
I feel out of place
uncaring
passive, nonchalant, aloof and unkind... I might till the day I die

But maybe that's just being human
liking and learning dislike
having opinions or
not caring at all 
might not be wrong or right
I might just be human. Who knows. 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Fall ;A;


Green 
fading into 
rouge
and amber
and fire
then to crumpled, dying brown.

Air 
shifting from 
hot
thick
and humid
to breezes, chilling limbs.

Skies
morphing colors
blue
with cumulus white
clouds
to dingy, lonely grey.

Clothes
changing out
from shorts
and tees
flip-flops
to "warm and cozy" wool.

Food
replacing lovely
watermelon
hamburgers
and buttered corn on cob
with tea, pies, and soup. 

I do not like soup. 
or tea. 
sweaters make me sweat. 
I miss the sun, kissing my skin
I miss the green, green grass.

But autumn comes,
like it or not
love it or no
odd ball; I'm out

It must come.

It must come, so I will set my teeth 
and look ahead
buckle down,
eat candy corn and pie
and wait for warmth 
to come
again.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Friday, September 12, 2014

Paper Hatted Greatness

I want to be a boy in a paper hat
walking school halls like a sailor 
all dressed up in newspaper
disregarding the haters
making that shy new kid smile

I want to be an eighty year old lady
coasting car lots in my buggy
like I'm Jasmine on a magic
carpet ride
yeah just lookit them smilin'

I want to be that timid beauty
taking time off from her duties 
playing piano for old folks 
even though she is truly
shy 
just to make those people smile

I want to be some full-out hippie
perhaps just a little bit ditsy 
with a flowered up van and a disarming grin
which despite all that better judgment 
makes the people observing just smile

I want to be a young guy 
dancing it out in the mall like
it's all I have left but I'll give
it my all yeah see me twirl
just to make bored dads 
and boyfriends with girls' bags smile

I want to be a boy in a paper hat
or a girl in a Mardi Gras mask
or a dude drawing chalk on a sidewalk
doing the things that I most love 
not caring which people are watching
just hoping I might help them smile

Because, come on bae, let's just face it
not all of us have guts to embrace it
the urge to do cray cray neat stuff
so we live for those moments of greatness
going on hard all around us 
yeah we're living through second-hand braveness
hoping that they'll make us smile. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Shelter Kitty

I think she's like a shelter cat
She's wary of the world
She may hiss a bit, or bite
But it's not because she doesn't want to be held
It's because she's afraid you'll strike
Her heart

Don't strike
Please, I know she's quiet
And she often sits alone
But it's not because she dislikes your company 
She craves it
She just can't say so 
aloud

I promise that
She's worth it
Though she can't initiate
If you take her home and treat her gently
She will purr and cuddle and mew
She'll wake up (inside) for you

I think she's like a shelter cat? 
Please just take a chance 
I promise she'll reciprocate
She'll love you
In a glance
A heartbeat

Please just take that chance. 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Toothless! :3



You Lodged There and You Sang

I should be over you 
I should
I really
should

But you got to my soul
through music
and you lodged there
and you sang

You sang of lives
lived vibrantly 
and you sang of 
enthusiasm

You made me laugh
which most people can't do
and you didn't ignore me
when my eyes were grey 
and dull

I smiled like an idiot
every time I saw you
even when I was mad 
mad at you
I couldn't stay away

But now that you're gone
I attempt to make 
believe
that I didn't care
didn't need you 
anyway

But you got to my soul
through music
and you lodged there
and you sang

Music was my first love
you just made it better
so every time I listen
and your song comes on
I hear your voice
alone

Yes, you got to my soul
through music
and you lodged there
and you sang