Saturday, October 4, 2014

Concerning Newbs and teh Shiny, Shiny Internets:



Why hello
youngling
little padawan
so cute with the chubby cheeks. ^-^
Please enjoy your stay

Welcome to the interwebs
the net
this fabu thing
I see you don't know how to post.
Or comment.
Or... anything. 

Give it a week
the marvel wears off
see there you go
you've learned how to craft a profile
with your name, address, ID
a hacker's field day... Wheeeeeee 

Six months and you're more comfortable
and hey... you learned the art of passwords
albeit the hard way. XD
Well done, though.
Your info's safer now.

Btw, I'll ttyl about definitions
of acronyms and stuffz
I'll brb... You could stand more patience,
though, padawan...
at least IMHO.

Facebook's getting too tame
so you explore YouTube
it's great
(for the first few cat videos and
inspirational sob stories)
but then you actually read
the comments below

Whoa.
How could people be so rude?
Foul? Illogical?
Maybe you should stand up for the poor
soul attacked by internet trolls...
First mistake. But you'll learn silence
after a good cry.

Oh so you got bored of YouTube
Twitter, Instagram, and the rest.
You'll graduate to Tumblr
you think you're ready but I'm afraid
I can't prepare you for the
mess

You thought it was bad at school
or on YouTube
Sorry... But cussing's the norm
My dear dear child
Tumblr kids can't say
anything without it, I'm afraid.

You're comfy now
it's year three
you've gotten sucked into fandoms
had your first precious OTP...
And your RL friends don't understand half
the stuff you say.

You pro'lly find normal
sleep schedules amusing
routinely stay up past three
in the wee hours of the gray morning
a human burrito in your favorite
blanket. It's a lifestyle.

You're no longer a newb;
congrats!
Now you're a cynical kid
who assumes it's normal
to blow your lid and act insane
if someone says a racist name

You're disillusioned
but you're whip smart
and utterly hilarious
at least all your internet friends think so.
But your skin's getting pale... You don't see day.
Are you so sure that you're okay? 

Well... Maybe you should take some
advice from your lovely
motivational boards on Pinterest...
like: "get out and live,"
"Be kind," and "seek truth."
Ehhh... Maybe after you check those
shiny notifications.

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