You Realize

You only realize mid swing
that you've just killed a man:
as his throat spurts red 'gainst your blade, and you feel the wetness of fresh-faded life on your cheeks
.../Then/ you realize it.

You only realize mid sentence
that you've crossed a line:
as her eyes flash with fury, and you feel the heat of her hurt turn to shame on your face... You stumble to finish your piece
...Yes you've realized too late.

You only realize mid flight
that you gave up too soon:
as the clouds swiftly shroud the landscape below, and your ears commence bursting from cacophonous engines... You've left him to raise her alone.
.../Then/ guilt hits you.

You only realize mid connection
that you chose the wrong girl:
as you lose ability to ignore her flaws, and see that you just don't work -- That maybe you were a bit too willing
to paint her as perfect with make-believe brushes
...You realize, yet you're too invested.

You only realize mid trip

that you've never liked "lonely..."
As you sit on hotel bed; knees curled to your chest, and the noise of the cabs and the car horns engulf you in meaningless sound... No one here knows you or cares
...That's when you realize your want.

You only realize mid walk
that you're distant and bitter:
as disillusionment spreads through your soul, eating your heart up like cancer... God is foreign: a language you once spoke; a lover you once loved
...You realize, and pray you're not lost.

It's funny how we live life oblivious... (Or, rather, it would be funny, if it weren't so distressing)... I wonder what blinds us to consequences: to the point where present moments are all that matters...
...I wonder... (When I'm not too distracted).